Start Over Again

This website is a Bubble in the Bubble Map of the StartOver Game. It is a doorway to experiments to try that upgrade your thoughtware so you can create more possibility. Your knowledge is what you think about. Your thoughtware is what you use to think with. When you change your thoughtware, you go through a liquid state as your mind reorganizes itself. Liquid states can bring up transformational feelings and emotions. By upgrading your thoughtware you build matrix to hold more consciousness. No one can do this for you. No one can stop you from doing it. Our theory is that when we collectively build one million more Matrix Points we will change the morphogenetic field of the human race for the better. Please choose responsibly to read this website. Reading this whole website is worth 1 Matrix Point. Doing any of the experiments below earns you additional Matrix Points. Please use Matrix Code START-OA.00 to log your Point for reading this website.

The Linear Life Plan is probably what you were shown by your parents and pushed to follow by society at large. It goes like this: get born, go to school, go to another school, get a job, find a partner, get married, get a different job, buy a house, get another new job, have children, start your own business, retire, go to an old people's home, die.

Ever heard of this life plan?

There exists a Nonlinear Life Plan. Basically it has no predictable order. What it does have is a different purpose.

The purpose of the Nonlinear Life Plan is to unfold your true dreams, ignite your unquenchable inspiration, activate your hidden potentials, deliver your unique value through your Archetypal Lineage as a service to the village so you can be your destiny in action.

The condition that is sometimes classified as Borderline Personality can start over again by noticing that you vibrate between two or more energetic spaces as a survival strategy. You figured out how to do this long ago. You realized that if you ongoingly vibrate between two energetic Spaces, two points of view, two contexts, two sets of rules of engagement, etc. then you cannot ever be pinned down into one particular space. This kept you safe! “Ha hah! Catch me if you can…” You can feel the vibration while you internally shifting very quickly from one Space of reality to another Space of reality. It is giddy, jittery, unstable, untouchable, and kind of fun (for your Gremlin...). Vibrating has become normal for you. Adopting the Borderline survival strategy is not bad, not wrong, and not stupid, because it worked, because you survived. At the same time, every survival strategy has its consequences. It has its price to pay. Now you have the possibility to shift from surviving into living. You have been ready and waiting for Authentic Adulthood Initiatory Processes to be delivered to you since you were about 18 years old. But modern culture does not provide initiations that it takes to leave your psychological defense strategy behind like a butterfly leaves it chrysalis behind so it can fly, like a bird leaves its eggshell behind so it can sing. Starting Over Again begins with you, with Noticing, with Self Observation, with getting Centered, with taking back your Authority and your Real Voice. As you more and more detect yourself making the rapid Space shifting, you build the Matrix to start over from a new place, one simple place, one still place of Being. At first it will feel very strange, very abnormal for you. You may feel scared about slowing down and stopping the shifting, being only at one place, because then you become visible, approachable, and of course, attackable. You may at first feel bored being just one thing. Yes, and--- you have learned some other ways to take care of yourself by now. You have learned to be centered, to distinguish between your feelings and your emotions, to use your real voice, to say stop, etc. Experiment after Experiment you can be still, be at one place for longer and longer, be there, and eventually be in connection, be with another Being. That is when your heart can open like it has been longing to open, and you can become present and be seen and heard, acknowledged, received. You can Start Over Again! You are designed for this. You are designed to step away from your childhood survival strategy with gratitude and enter an entirely different relationship with the universe called Adulthood. By your own efforts, the same way you created your original survival strategy, the same way you trained up your Box and your Gremlin to vibrate so that you could survive, you can create an entirely new future for yourelf in which you are connected and collaborating with life instead of protecting yourself from life. Welcome!

Parkinsons (and perhaps also menengitis...) is often the consequence of holding inside of yourself an irreconcilable conflict.

StartOver.xyz explores ordinary, extraordinary and Archetypal domains. Through making
the time to study the thoughtmaps and do the experiment to practice the soft-skills you will be discovering previously unrevealed dimensions of yourself, and therefore of your ability to creatively relate.

You obviously want these skills or you would not be reading these words… and you probably want them already now! Right away! Perhaps you are already asking, “Does true love itself even exist? If so, prove it to me! How do I get there now?”

The answer to this and every other “How do I do it...?” question is the same: “You get there one step at a time.” 

You get there the long, hard, slow way... the real way... by learning in excruciating detail exactly how you are consistently creating what does not work and why you are doing that. This is your visit to your unconscious world, your shadow world, your underworld.

You get there by realizing that learning what you are up to now - for real, no matter how bad it may look... is the first step to the possibility of being up to something else.

Seeing precisely how you trap yourself in the ordinary is the only thing that can give you enough pain to leave the ordinary and enter the (frightening) extraordinary and possibly even the (really frightening) Archetypal.

While you are experimenting with these ideas, the possibility is open that you may actually encounter the extraordinary. If the extraordinary happens to you, try not to overreact. This whole Universe is extraordinary. If you notice and appreciate extraordinariness happening in the microcosm around you, make the time to write it down in your Beep! Book.

Writing down your extraordinary experiences changes them from subjective experiences to objective experiences. This is an alchemical action. Alchemists learn the slow hard painful way that if you don’t write it down it didn’t happen. If you want something to have happened... write it down.

Because you read this you don't have to learn it the slow hard painful way... or maybe you do.

Keeping notes on your journey can prove to be invaluable for building matrix.
 

Here are some hints that make your journeying more effective:

1. When you write down your experiences, try to not figure it all out or psychologize it. 
2. Don’t write what it means to you personally. Just write down 'what happened.' 
3. Allow yourself to savor the deep sensual nuances of the experience and keep exploring. In other words, don’t get off the elevator at the first floor. Instead stay with, stay centered, keep breathing, and go as high as the elevator can take you. 
4. Practice tolerating the intensity of the extraordinary for as long as you can endure it, and then just a little longer. Practice this every chance you get, over and over again, and you will build attention and energetic body muscles for journeying into the extraordinary.
5. Keep asking the next question.
6. Keep doing the next experiment. 
7. Write what happens in realtime by splitting off only ten percent of your attention to write. Write as a side effect without laboring over the writing, while using the rest of your attention to stay present, listen clearly, share from deep within yourself, and have the currently happening extraordinary experience. 
8. Do not succumb to the temptation of being reasonable by going into your head to analyze, judge and criticize what you are experiencing.
9. Slow down. Stay hungry. Stay on the edge. Stay present. 
10. Thinking about your experience brings you into your head. Going into your head when you are having an experience removes you from the experience. Then you don’t get to have the experience. Your head does. Just because you have been trained to go into your head by your culture and times does not mean that you have to do it.
11. Experience is rare. It only happens NOW. If an experience turns out to be a wondrous experience you can think about it later. Have the wondrous experience NOW. 
12. Love only happens NOW. Not going into your head when Love is happening takes practice. Make the time to practice.
13. And, while we are on the subject of time and experience, remember that the good news and the bad news is the same news: all things pass, including wondrous experience. A heavenly experience is just as temporary as a hellish experience. The Tibetan Vajrayana Buddhist Master Chögyam Trungpa said, “When you are in heaven, be in heaven. When you are in hell, be in hell.” The rest of the time you can think about it.

Without experiencing true love personally you may not suspect that relationship can
offer such surprising possibilities. The StartOver.xyz gameworld invites you to also start over again with relationship, and this time to come in through a different doorway.

The new doorway opens to a new domain that by its very context blows away the mists of fairy tales, the confusion, outrage and doubt... and enables you to creatively relate in ways that are full of mystery and ecstasy that take a lifetime to explore.

Embracing radiant joy and brilliant Love is completely possible for you... and here, you need to be cautioned: accessing the extraordinary takes focused intentional efforts, and time. Unfolding the Archetypal Woman and Man takes time.

It may even take luck. But certainly lots of time.

You have been trained that learning involves pattern recognition. To an even greater degree,
however, learning (especially expansive learning) also involves pattern disintegration.

Patterns disintegrate through learning new core ideas, called “memes.” A meme is a fundamental instruction for the design of your mind in the same way that a gene is a fundamental instruction for the design of your body.

StartOver.xyz is loaded with 'memetic viruses' that can spring back to life in a moment through contact with the living medium of your mind.

The memes in StartOver.xyz are very clear and have a tendency to replace any memes you
presently have that are less clear than the new ones. When you get a new meme you can feel it upgrade your thoughtware. From then on you have the distinctions of the upgraded thoughtware to use to interact with the world and with other people.

Developing new competence in relating implies that the old patterns release their grip. Your old view disassembles. Give yourself permission to wholly experience the annihilation of your
present relationship memes. This could include Liquid States in your 5 Bodies.

Your usual modes for relating are simply patterns of behavior that you learned long ago and continue to implement because they are familiar. What you are doing by reading these ideas now and experimenting with new behavior is saying, “The buck stops here. With me. Now. I am done copying what my parents did. I am done following the TV sitcoms and dramas. I want something different from this. I am making changes, and I am starting with changing me.” 

By taking radical responsibility for starting new patterns you simultaneously destroy old patterns. This follows what R. Buckminster Fuller suggests: "You do not change things by fighting the existing patterns. You change things by creating new patterns that make the existing patterns irrelevant." Or makes them too boring or painful to enact anymore.

During the reordering of your understanding you may experience some moments of
confusion. This is normal. Confusion is one sign of grief; you may be grieving the passing
of the old familiar ways. For example, you may see that you’ve been mistrusting and even denying your own intuition in favor of what others tell you, or in favor of some system of doctrinal belief from external authority figures.

When this awareness hits your energetic body, head on, let it come with sincere wails and tears shared with someone who can be there with you and listen without judgements and without trying to solve your problem. You created this problem for yourself with long years of practice by your own choices. It is your problem, no one else's.

Authentically grieve the loss of your faithful old pattern, rather than trying to keep an already dead thing alive so as to avoid the pain of recognizing that it is dead.

As Marilyn Ferguson said so long ago in her world-changing book, The Aquarian Conspiracy, “A falling apart precedes a falling together.”

I encourage you to let the reordering happen uninterrupted, and as to let it happen as thoroughly as you can. You short-circuit the process when you attempt to cover it up or deny that is is happening. You kill evolution if you block your transformational liquid state with a cheery smile and telling people you are okay.

Take care to nurture yourself during the grieving loss of a pattern. The grief is real and necessary. Give it to yourself. Give it to a new future.

EXPERIMENT STARTOVR2.01 Go for a walk. Build a small gravestone for your pattern and give it a formal funeral with some other people from your Possibility Team as witnesses so that your pattern can indeed drift into the past where it belongs and can Rest In Peace. The others may wish to give one of their patterns a tear-filled funeral along with you.

Take a long hot bath. Listen to sweet music and sob. Enjoy the sunset and a good meal. Go to bed early.

If you succeed in leaving your pattern behind you will be departing from known territory and entering the unknown where everything seems new, one thing you can be sure of is that your mind will not leave you alone for long. It is uncanny how the mind will rustle through the funeral ashes of your burnt down house of illusions and without effort construct another way of looking at things in almost no time.

Pattern disintegration is a prelude to a new world view. The Box puts itself back together
without you having to do much of anything. If you experience pattern disintegration
and renewal often enough you will start to see that this is how evolution happens.

Expansive learning allows you to recognize and participate in the flow of evolution. As
the bright warmth of summer fades into fall, so too does the deathly chill of winter inevitably
blossom into spring. Such transitions are natural and, in the big picture, unstoppable. The force of evolution does its mysterious work during the liquid transitions between solid phases. Get used to being in transition. This is the only place you can learn to fly... human beings are designed to fly...

Through making efforts to shift your basic life strategy from mere survival to fullout living you align yourself with forces that are greater than yourself. You start to play a role in what author Rogan Taylor calls the 'death and resurrection show'. 

In the heat of unexpected opportunities your familiar ideas blaze and crisp, making way for new thoughtware to bloom, sprout, and take practical rooting. Through fire after fire you slowly come to discover what philosopher Karlfried Graf Durckheim refers to as 'that which is indestructible'.

Life can be more intensely profound and exciting than you might have ever previously been led to believe, including your life of relating.

Shifting from the Linear Life Plan to the Nonlinear Life Plan begins with clarity about the context of your actions.

What is context?

Context is the root of your actions, the connection between your strategy and consciousness.

In the Linear Life plan, what is the context? The context is about following steps designed for you by someone else. It is about being a nice person, not rocking the boat, fitting in and being acceptable to other people so they do not get upset and report you to the 'authorities' of the Inquisition who come to your house and burn you at the stake... again...

This is a rather common context in the capitalist patriarchal empire of modern culture. It is certainly a strategy that works, so some degree. It can allow you to survive.

But is that what you want for the rest of your life? To be adaptive, to repress your aliveness so that you can merely get through life?

Are you aware that other contexts exist?

What might a different congtext be about?

Consider these other frameworks:

Your original strategy was to survive.

What is a gameworld?

If you are not radically responsible for the gameworlds you play in you are a pawn in someone else's gameworld.

What is it like to take radical responsibility for the gameworlds you live in? Here are some comments from experienced edgeworkers:

"I don't suffer anymore from groundlessness. The air can support me. I learned how to create the ground I walk on, and I can teach others how to do this. This is true enablement!"

- Katharina Kaifler

"I am the gift I have been looking for. I am in the unwrapped package and I have everything that I need. I am at home in me."

- Odjo Strese